Work in Progress - Hard to Handle

The photo that inspired this painting (still a work in progress) is one I took at the Truro Racetrack during last years Atlantic Grand Circuit week. I have several pieces all based on that days shooting. The photo is one of extremes. Everything about it is VERY extreme. The lighting and shadows are in no way subtle and the whole feel of the photo is of tension, expression and conflict. The extreme amount of tack and lack of natural freedoms jars our desire for everything to appear happy and joyful.

It has been sitting on the floor of my studio for several months now.

I hated it. I hated looking at it in its blocked in form. I hated the idea of it. I hated the colour, cold grey and unnatural. I just hated it, no exceptions. Black and white, all lines drawn, total disgust in your face raw emotion.

Last night I tackled it refusing to stop until I wrestled with its demons. I never got to bed until well into the early morning hours. I battled with this piece shoving paint around the canvas, filling in emotionally wronged spots and creating a life force in a piece full of strife and potential combat.

I took advantage of my late night activities to watch the Persiad Asteroid Meteor shower and fancifully wished upon a falling star. I also bought a Lotto Max ticket with hopes that maybe August 13th, Friday the 13th, will yield something positive for even a moment.

I like this painting now that it is starting to appear in a "recognizable" form. I think it was just the initial look that was so close to my personal feelings of aggravation and longing to do something I am good at rather than having to bite my tongue while the well heeled response of "NO" curtailed my ability to do something positive.

I can relate to this horse. I understand its desire to be the best at what it was bred to be but having to deal with societies restraints to control and predetermine thier version of a perfect outcome. Any of my close friends will understand where most of this rant is coming from. The last couple of years have been complete dreck with a few shining moments and this painting feels like a bit of a "Eureka" thing.

A close friend who has bailed me out of more than a few messes laughed at me today and told me to "Stopping fighting it. You can't win and just relax." Normally I would have told her to stuff it in a very physically inappropriate area and she, being one of the very few people I trust enough to actually express myself openly with, would respond in an equally appropriate manner!

You gotta love honest people. You know where they stand and your place by them. I think that is why I love working with animals so much. If they do not like you they let you know instanteously. You get kicked, bitten or run down. Humans need to learn a few barnyard lessons.

I have been in the wrong barnyard!

All I know is I have decided that I refuse to play in that sandbox anymore. I am leaving emotionally retarded individuals behind heading for the open plains and rather like the subject of this painting pretty soon I am going to be running my own race and leaving the rest behind.

You can only hold back a good horse so long. They are too hard to handle if you fight them and when you leave an individual alone to do what nature intended them to do you usually get a thing of beauty.

I will keep you all posted to see if this painting, like my life becomes a thing of beauty.

Chloe in the Fog 5x3 oil SOLD

This is my Appaloosa mare Chloe browsing in her pasture one early foggy morning. Living close to the Bay of Fundy we have a tendency to get a few of those! Right now the tides are in and the banks are close to overflowing, a by product of the season and a few days of rain.

My kids are looking forward to this falls running of the rapids and while I personally am not looking forward to being covered in the silty brown water other friends have told me it is a highly entertaining way to ruin a white shirt!

I started working on a couple of larger pieces today and although I have put it off, not liking the undercoat I find the paint is flowing freely and I am able to cover up the beginning brushstrokes of ugliness. I have to admit I like how it is going. Maybe in the next post I will show you the painting in progress.

Spring Lamb 5x7 Oil SOLD

A little painting of a lamb for you folks today. I hope to have a pasture full of these little gems next spring. I like sheep, they don't bite, you can still walk if kicked by one and they taste soooonummy!

I am slowly getting back into the swing of things in the studio. I am trying to focus on some of the larger pieces that I have been avoiding lately. The smaller dailies are great in that they keep you going when your energy level is low and they also allow to you be a little bit more wild and free in your creative endeavors than you'd normally be.

But I have a series of horses that must be done, and they are irritating me, mainly because I hate anything that is not completed! So hopefully I will make some real progress tonight!

Fortress Louisbourg Turret 4x4 Oil
($65 CDN plus shipping)

If you ever have the good fortune to visit Fortress Loisbourg in Cape Breton Nova Scotia please do so. It is the re creation of a french fort in the 1700's where all the re en-actors wear period correct clothing and stay true to maintaining their character. Unless you have a really ignorant tourist in your group.

David and I decided the kids needed to experience the Fort and so we excitedly told them about everything we could remember from our last trip which had happened over 20 years earlier. One of the highlights for David was the inquisition all visitors to the Fortress had to endure prior to entrance into the fort. They had to be careful NOT to allow any English spies in!

David had been racking his brain trying to think of a good response for this questions all the way up and had finally decided on the response,

"We are Jacobites. I am a descendant of the Stuarts of Bute. And my wife is of french Heugonot blood." All true but still we all agreed this was a great response to the "Are ye English Spys?" question.

The kids giggled as we marched up to the group and just as it became our turn, Dave took a deep breath and at that same instance a rather large rude bleached blonde 21st century tourist bellowed out,
"What are you doing? We are going to miss the Kings Bastion cannon firing. You people don't time this very well. I don't want to miss that event. Is there a bus to get me up there?"

Dave and the kids deflated, the poor entrance guard looked mortified and quickly said "please continue and have a good day" as the party pooper stomped on grumbling about people ruining "HER" vacation.

Dave waited 22 years to make this response. So much for modern civilization.

Other than that unfortunate event the whole day was great. We took lots of photos and of course Connor and I found lots of heritage chickens. Anna and I found some Cotswald Sheep and were inspired to try a long wool breed. Watch out for future paintings on these wondrous beasts. We had some authentic food and this time I didn't get food poisoning from the Spruce beer!

The weather was fantastic which was a bit unusual as there can be great mountains of fog that envelop the area or you could experience the joys of natural rainfall...or deluge depending on your mood!

The trip took the whole day and we were very pleased with how it all turned out. The only major bump in an other wise great day was of the previously mentioned "Death of a Car"!

The above painting is of the small turret on the edge of the front entrance of the Fortress. It is accessible by people and is a neat little novelty item to take kids to! The turret is quite high up but my interest was in the lines of this out cropping and the rough natural facade of the surrounding walls of the fortress.

Watching the Judge 4x6 Oil

This is another picture based on my daughter and her lamb. I loved the soft contemplation of this piece especially considering what a kangaroo Bella had been prior to the show.

So I am finally back on my computer and like a love affair gone bad I am glad to say Adios to my husbands computer! It was a servicable piece of equipment but I felt like I lost my buddy when I couldn't go rummaging through my files on a whim! It is amazing how attached we get to the routine we create for ourselves. Several hundred dollars later I am in familar territory typing away about my painting and life fiascoes.

These past two weeks have been extremely busy as the whole family is home and of course everyone wants to spend "quality" time together.

One instance of quality time was spent stranded on a highway just outside of Antigonish. My trusty little car with its "frog pond green" metallic colour was scooting along beautifully returning us home from Cape Breton when I sensed a cessation of energy. David tapped then stomped on the gas pedal to no avail. Our Sunfire just quit, doing 120 km down a dusky highway 2 hours from home. There was no sputter, gaggle, burp or fart to warn us there was an issue. Just the instantaneous absence of engine.

Just like that we were close to $1000 poorer.

Thank God for cell phones, sisters in law and paid off credit cards.

Turns out my little car had a terminal fuel pump disease. Turns out it is normal for your car to die with a flick of a switch. Turns out people will take your money to repair such disasters.

I think my computer and car had this planned.

The Sheep Showman 4x5 Oil

This little painting is based on my daughter and her ewe lamb Bella who made their showing debut at the local 4H achievement Day this past week. Bella is a purebred Clun Forest, a rather rare breed in Canada who performed admirably at the show. So much so that she was even used in the Grand Champion Showmanship class. This is remarkable because the days leading up to the show, training Bella was akin to roping a mustang while standing on an ice rink. Not easy and certainly not enjoyable.

I must give kudos to my daughter because she never gave up and she thought the sun rose and set on her ewe lamb. Two better ambassadors for the sheep industry you could not find as Anna and Bella worked the crowd. Everyone from 90 year women to 1 year old toddlers were in love with Bella as she allowed multitudes of people to pet her downy wool.

I could continue on about how proud I was of my kids and what they accomplished but in truth all the 4H kids there really impressed me. I watched as other members who qualified for the Grand Champion Showman class handled animals for the first time. One girl, who qualified with her dog, admitted to me that this was the first time she had even touched a horse let alone show it. She did remarkably well.

In fact all the kids did and I got to thinking about how we coddle our kids to much. Keep them safe...yes, but don't deny them the chance to try something new. I watched with fascination as parents clutched the fence railing when their child handled a chicken for the first time and I watched as the 4H members laughed at their own ineptness. I watched as new members asked more experienced members for help and I had to smile as it was given freely and happily.

When was the last time you were expected to perform a new task with a public audience and you proudly did it without hesitation? When was the last time you asked for help without fear of ridicule? Or offered help because someone asked you?

I think the next generation is going to be a good one!

Catch Up!

Blarney Castle Tower 4x4 Oil
($65 CDN plus shipping)

Wow, it has been a few days since I have posted something on the blog. I was going to apologize but then I thought, "I am living life!" I will not diminish that or the joy I feel at having a family to enjoy that with. I am sure that you yourself have times when reading my blog is not paramount in your life!! ;)

Needless to say I have been run ragged and done so many things and had a few misadventures along the way that I think I will stretch them out for a few days. Otherwise you would be stuck reading page ofter page of Fullerton Chronicles!!!

I had a good friend from Alberta drop in to see me a few days ago who was visiting her family and we reminisced about mutual hobbies and things we loved. When we moved to Nova Scotia from Alberta I knew there were facets of my life I would never revisit again. The main one being my involvement in the horse industry. Talking to this friend made me realize how much I missed that segment of my life. There is something about sharing a common bond with like minded people that allows you to feel accepted and connected to the community. While in Alberta I had that and I still, over a decade later , maintain friendships from that part of my life but I do find it lonely here. Anything I say in comparison of the two provinces sounds like extreme arrogance but unless you have had the chance to experience the thrill of riding a World Champion, training with an Internationally respected and accredited trainer one can never understand why I do not pursue the equine industry like I did in Alberta. I left not only a way of life but a business behind.

Seeing my friend reminded me of how much I gave up by moving back home.

I am not boo -whoo- ing my life choices. Just acknowledging why I made them. While I would dearly love to have some of the life style I had in Alberta I have to admit that watching my children emerge in their own light has been a wonderful thing. My days of showing are over but theirs have just begun seeing them compete with my horse at the local 4H show this past week have helped me realize that although others may resent my "come from away" experience, my children certainly benefit. And if you can not help your children benefit from your experiences then what are you on this earth for?