Buckle up baby, its gonna be a bumpy ride!

Stay away damn Hurricane!

Take that you miserable weather phenomenon!

What's your problem?

What Hurricane?

Still working on larger pieces and of course, preparing for hurricane Earl. To say I am worried would be an understatement. We have replaced our north roof 4 times in the last 2 years due to strong winds. And YES, it was installed by a professional each time and YES it was tarred down and YES we have the best shingles money can buy. I should know, we've bought them 4 times!

These pictures were taken during a summer trip to Fortress Louisbourg and I love the ones of the men firing their weapons. They kind of explain how I feel with this approaching Hurricane!

For those of you who have never experienced the joy of a Hurricane let me fill you in on a few pertinent facts.

1. You will lose power....for an extended period of time. This means you will be wrapping your freezer up in your best duvet to prevent any loss of all those chemical free home raised meat kings.

2. You will need a powersaw. That cute little tree you bought at Canadian Tire three years ago will now have a trunk of steel and your handsaw will be insufficient to cut through it when it becomes lodged in the front seat of your "not quite paid for yet " car.

3. Stock up on kitty litter. Strong winds and sideways driving torrents of rain will ensure that your barn cat becomes a permanent fixture in your house, most likely under your feet because lets face it..that is the most safe place in the house. Of course when you fall face first on your kitchen floor flattening your cat, it will now experience a loosening of the bowels. Hence the stocking up of cat litter. Make sure it is a jumbo bag capable of absorbing orders. Not that cheap stuff that you can use as traction during blizzards. See future blogs on the proper application of this product!

4. Stock up on propane AND charcoal briquets. You will get hungry. You will need to feed your family even though it is unsafe to leave the relative safety of your home, you will venture out to the deck and try and create fire. Usually a frustrating venture as 120 km hour wind gusts blow out your propane tank with a regularity that the makers of Metamucil would envy. Because your family will complain about the taste of propane on their very rare hamburger you will then attempt to please them (AKA shut them up) by starting up the charcoal. This guarantees your children will now also leave the safety of the house to roast marshmallows. When the Hurricane passes you will look at your exterior walls and ponder why there are gobs of hairy green things firmly attached to your siding. Eventually you will realize that your offspring only ingested 1/4 of the marshmellows while Hurricane monster man spread the rest around your home. The grass is revenge for not having raked up the lawn clippings prior to the event.

It will take several days to clean this up and no, insurance will not cover it!

5. Stock up on water because with the power off you will have to rely on the horse buckets and tubs to help flush the toilet. Remember, the cat will not be the sole occupant of the house with loose bowels.

6. Hide the mirrors, because after watching your shingles fall like a BP well spews oil you will not be getting any sleep. You will not be getting any gourmet meals and you will cetainly not be getting any hot showers. Soooooooo, on your first day back to work, you will wake up in the morning with hair resembling the above rooster. Good morning Sunshine!

7. By day three after the storm, you will become very sedentary. You do not care if there is bare wood exposed on your roof, that all your food has the texture of burnt wood or that your home now smells like a cat house. You will view people very much like the goose we saw at the Fort (see above photo). Even though your hair can now repel rain and you can now longer hear the whines of family members you will sit in your spot and retreat into your fantasy world where running water is a given and insurance men like to help. You will become that proverbial duck where all your troubles wash away because nothing sticks to you.

So here's to all my fellow Maritimers, May you weather the storm with your head held high (once the debris settles), your power is never ending (because you LIKE that duvet) and your water ever flowing ( no more separating hay from your loose tea)!

PS If you never hear from me again, watch the news...we are probably the house the flew away!