Whats new pussycat?

Turkey Lurkey and her showring debut (August)

This is just a quick blub to let you know that I am still among the land of the living and to get a few folks off my back!

Apparently some people do not need to see my art work each and every day. Imagine. I thought that was the point of my blog but I am told that a daily dose of Crystal is much more entertaining than the visual displays I love to show off.

I am still trying to decide if I am offended or not.

Considering the time and energy required to be truly offended I think I will take the slackers way out and joyfully continue in my fantasy that you really want to hear my ramblings, with or without art. I prefer the art but since my output is non exisitent at the moment this is what you get!

So here is my totally non art related story for you.

My son is involved in the 4H Market turkey project. It is a really cool project where members raise a turkey for 5 long months and then attempt to out do The Donald in a business model. He got these birds as day old chicks and they have grown and grown and grown.

We butchered two in August to limit the finicial bleeding from our bank account because a full grown turkey can and will ( if given the chance) eat his weight in gold. The first two turkeys weighed in at an impressive 16 and 18lbs. That is alot of hot turkey sandwiches! If you do not think this is a large amount, consider holding two newborn babies complete with full diapers and then re question the weight issue! Yeah, that's alot of bird.

Most producers do not raise turkeys for 5 months for obvious reasons. Besides the fincial draining of ones chequeing account the turkeys also grow to a phenomenal size. Any woman out there right now will agree with me that stuffing a 25 lb turkey into a 10 lb pan does not work. You men must also remember that the 10 lb pan fits perfectly in the modern oven. Simple math here folks, that leaves 15 lbs of bird that regardless of the amount of pressure or velocity at which you kick the oven door , you still have waaaay too much bird for your modern convienence cooking device.

But I digress.

The great part about the 4H Market Turkey project is that your kid has to keep track of how much money went into said beast and find out a marketable price to sell excess birds at. He has learned that women are smarter than men. Men think bigger is better. Women already understand the rules of physics. An object will occupy a given space at a given time due to its given mass. That means,

The damn turky will NEVER ever fit into your oven as a whole entity.

Men will never understand this. Therefore my son is targeting them as potential buyers of his Turkey at the Market Turkey Auction this weekend.

I watched with pride as my once super shy child chased down the manager of the local Atlantic Superstore in an attempt to use his youth as an aid in soliciting bidders for the auction.

My son has seen the inside of our freezer, he knows there is no way in Gods green acre that 5 turkeys, 1 lamb, 17 meat kings and 50 lbs of pork are all fitting in there. He has also reasoned that if he ever wants to eat ice cream in the privacy of his bed room he must ensure that there is aleast enough space to fit 2 L of Udderly Divine. Right now the odds are against him ever becoming lactose intolerant.

This is one motivated kid.

As a side bar, the above photo is of Lurkey in August. August 3rd to be exact. She has done nothing but eat for 2 straight months. Use your imagination for her present size! Even coyotes won't tackle her now, although I should be concerned for the horse!

I'll let you know how the auction goes. Either he does well or we'll be drinking shakes for a while!